stacksbreadup:

This deadass the funniest tweet ever.
babyminaj:

im getting this tattooed on my ass

panic-at-the-discount-store:

I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms

(via fuckyeahanalfisting)

egg-rolls:

when u stand up 2 fast n suddenly ur floatin thru space n time

(via orgasm)

crocobaby:

Do you think every president goes through a awkward first few weeks in office when they’re not sure when’s the right time to ask if aliens are real or not?

(via jesuschristvevo)

deductivereasonable:

h34rken:

put a fucking bag on your head and sleep you god damn piece of shit

take a nap on a fucking ski lift
centralist:

This is the best gif of all time

mckardashian:

this girl in history thought Hiroshima was a pokemon

(via beyoncevevo)